I wish I would have known him.
As I sat with the grieving family, these were the first words I thought as I looked at Mike's body, so still and quiet in front of me. I felt a connection to him, a "kindred spirit", in what I was able to learn about him, his family, and his too-short life. While I never spoke to him, I left that day feeling like he had changed my life, and I think he would have been happy to know that I felt like that.
Michael Talarek lived his own life. He didn't always follow the rules that so many of us wearily obey, day after day. He did indeed make choices, and sometimes others would wonder what on earth he was thinking when they would learn of his decisions. I think that Mike was OK with the consequences. He was a good guy...someone who had a best friend who knew him very well and joined with him in more than their fair share of laughter. He was a likable fellow, with a crooked grin that was nearly irresistible. He had a big heart, willing to give whatever he could spare to someone he felt needed it more than he did. He was devoted to his large Polish-heritage family, lighting up the room when he entered his parents' home for holidays, celebrations, and dinners. Mikey had a spark that was unexplainable, a sense of "happy go lucky" that made strangers like him when they first met him.
He wouldn't have believed it if he would have been able to sneak in and see all those who showed up to pay their respects at the funeral home where his empty body was placed. He was modest and genuine, not wanting a big fuss. Even this might have been a little more than he would have liked if he could have made the arrangements...a toast to the "joie de vivre" of his 50 years on earth would have suited him just fine, and then a mass exit to watch a game of his beloved White Sox, if they were on TV, sprinkled with some funny jokes and lots of playful teasing.
Mikey would also want his children to know that he lives on in them. The smiles on his face in the pictures where he is holding Danny, Chrissy, and his little grandbaby, Abbey, testifies how much he loved having these wonderful children. After the incredible sorrow passes, he would love to be remembered in stories about some of the good times they all shared together. Sometimes it wasn't easy for him to be a husband or a father, but that didn't mean that it meant any less to him. He had to live his own life, his way, and he expects and wants nothing less for Danny and Chrissy. Have fun, work hard, love large. Remember who you are.
Because Michael lived alone in an apartment before his death, one might believe he was a lonely soul. But Mikey was never lonely. If he needed to be around someone, there were legions of friends nearby who would gladly meet him for a cold one or just to hang out together. His family lived nearby, and he was always welcome back at home. Mike liked a good time, but then, he didn't mind to have moments of peace and solitude where he could just relax. Sometimes details some of us would fret about would be sorted through, and sometimes it was easy to push them to the back of his mind, but that was OK with Mike.
Mike would want all of us to take that spark of life he used to bring into a room, and every now and then, just do something you ordinarily wouldn't do. Play hooky. Give away the money in your wallet. Go to a baseball game on a work day. Flirt a tiny bit with a little old lady. Visit a pet store and smile at the puppies. Send a funny post card to a friend you haven't seen in years. Watch The Three Stooges on a Saturday afternoon. Take a long drive in the country.
I think that we all want to be able to look at our lives and know two things for sure: 1) Did I ever truly love someone in my lifetime? Mikey definitely loved the women in his life, his parents, brother and sisters, his dear friends, and especially, his children, and also, 2) Was I truly loved? It was clearly evident to me, someone who had never met Michael Talarek, that he was indeed, truly loved by so many.
Maybe eternal life means that our memories live on the lives of those we touched, and if that is the case, then Michael Raymond Talarek will live on forever. Those who mourn him have a hole in their lives, and wonder why his life ended too quickly, for indeed, it was not long enough. Maybe it shouldn't be they only had him for 50 years, but rather, that they were blessed with Mikey for 50 years, and how lucky are they to have known him.
I wish I would have.
As I sat with the grieving family, these were the first words I thought as I looked at Mike's body, so still and quiet in front of me. I felt a connection to him, a "kindred spirit", in what I was able to learn about him, his family, and his too-short life. While I never spoke to him, I left that day feeling like he had changed my life, and I think he would have been happy to know that I felt like that.
Michael Talarek lived his own life. He didn't always follow the rules that so many of us wearily obey, day after day. He did indeed make choices, and sometimes others would wonder what on earth he was thinking when they would learn of his decisions. I think that Mike was OK with the consequences. He was a good guy...someone who had a best friend who knew him very well and joined with him in more than their fair share of laughter. He was a likable fellow, with a crooked grin that was nearly irresistible. He had a big heart, willing to give whatever he could spare to someone he felt needed it more than he did. He was devoted to his large Polish-heritage family, lighting up the room when he entered his parents' home for holidays, celebrations, and dinners. Mikey had a spark that was unexplainable, a sense of "happy go lucky" that made strangers like him when they first met him.
He wouldn't have believed it if he would have been able to sneak in and see all those who showed up to pay their respects at the funeral home where his empty body was placed. He was modest and genuine, not wanting a big fuss. Even this might have been a little more than he would have liked if he could have made the arrangements...a toast to the "joie de vivre" of his 50 years on earth would have suited him just fine, and then a mass exit to watch a game of his beloved White Sox, if they were on TV, sprinkled with some funny jokes and lots of playful teasing.
Mikey would also want his children to know that he lives on in them. The smiles on his face in the pictures where he is holding Danny, Chrissy, and his little grandbaby, Abbey, testifies how much he loved having these wonderful children. After the incredible sorrow passes, he would love to be remembered in stories about some of the good times they all shared together. Sometimes it wasn't easy for him to be a husband or a father, but that didn't mean that it meant any less to him. He had to live his own life, his way, and he expects and wants nothing less for Danny and Chrissy. Have fun, work hard, love large. Remember who you are.
Because Michael lived alone in an apartment before his death, one might believe he was a lonely soul. But Mikey was never lonely. If he needed to be around someone, there were legions of friends nearby who would gladly meet him for a cold one or just to hang out together. His family lived nearby, and he was always welcome back at home. Mike liked a good time, but then, he didn't mind to have moments of peace and solitude where he could just relax. Sometimes details some of us would fret about would be sorted through, and sometimes it was easy to push them to the back of his mind, but that was OK with Mike.
Mike would want all of us to take that spark of life he used to bring into a room, and every now and then, just do something you ordinarily wouldn't do. Play hooky. Give away the money in your wallet. Go to a baseball game on a work day. Flirt a tiny bit with a little old lady. Visit a pet store and smile at the puppies. Send a funny post card to a friend you haven't seen in years. Watch The Three Stooges on a Saturday afternoon. Take a long drive in the country.
I think that we all want to be able to look at our lives and know two things for sure: 1) Did I ever truly love someone in my lifetime? Mikey definitely loved the women in his life, his parents, brother and sisters, his dear friends, and especially, his children, and also, 2) Was I truly loved? It was clearly evident to me, someone who had never met Michael Talarek, that he was indeed, truly loved by so many.
Maybe eternal life means that our memories live on the lives of those we touched, and if that is the case, then Michael Raymond Talarek will live on forever. Those who mourn him have a hole in their lives, and wonder why his life ended too quickly, for indeed, it was not long enough. Maybe it shouldn't be they only had him for 50 years, but rather, that they were blessed with Mikey for 50 years, and how lucky are they to have known him.
I wish I would have.
